What DOES love have to do with it? // Love or Money // Love IT! EVV

 

Relationships often bring a mix of emotional ups and downs, furies of passion, and decisions that are clouded by infatuation and expectation. Sounds dreamy, right?

Photo by Johnna Nedreberg Photography

Photo by Johnna Nedreberg Photography

In this post, we are going to look at common areas where relationship expectations and missteps muddy the waters of love and financial responsibility. There may be pressure to change your financial behavior in order to support your other half. You may think you're doing it out of love, but you may actually be complicating your relationship. Let's walk through some “if you love me’s”...

If you love me, you’ll…

Co-sign for me. Stop. Right. There. Shake off that lovey dovey daze, and think about what is happening here. You have to really evaluate the maturity of your relationship and the risk of each person’s financial safety. Does this mean that you should never cosign for your other half or ask for a cosigner? No, it just means that you have to be realistic. What happens if the relationship ends? You may get stuck with this obligation. You could be tied to this person for the life of the lease or loan. So ask yourself...what's love got to do with it?

Photo by Megan Vinson Photography

Photo by Megan Vinson Photography

If you love me, you'll...

Buy me that. Hey, maybe your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, and that's all fine and dandy...to an extent. The issue lies in when you see yourself changing your buying behavior or stretching your finances to meet the expectations of lavish gift giving. There's a difference between buying small tokens to show your affection or even saving up to buy that one thing your love has been eyeing in the window. But if you or your bank account are feeling the stress of having to shower your other half in gifts whether it is influenced by them or wanted by you, then maybe you need to ask...What's love got to do with it?

Photo by Johnna Nederberg Photography  

Photo by Johnna Nederberg Photography  

If you love me, you’ll...

Let me have your credit card. Bad idea. Whether someone is intentionally running up debt on your card or it's a miscommunication, it's bad news. Moral of the story...letting someone else utilize your credit cards is a dangerous road. It puts both parties at risk. No one wants to get sued, and no one wants to face maxed out accounts. So many failed relationships have racked up credit card debt as a dark cloud hanging over them. So go ahead and ask...What's love got to with it?

If you love me, you’ll...

Add me on your account. It's just easier to have access to all your financial assets, right? Wrong. Well, sometimes. This is one of those areas that our financial guru, Amy Bouchie addressed in her last article in Kiss & Be Married. You have to decide as a married couple if you are going to have joint or separate accounts. This is an age old debate. There are pros and cons to each. But if that person is really pressuring you to make a decision you're just not comfortable with yet. Take some time to evaluate it. Adding other signers or owners to financial accounts is easy enough. Removing them...not so much. So one more time...what's love got to do with it?

Photo by DIA Photography  

Photo by DIA Photography  

Relationships are complicated. Finances are complicated. Mixing the two...sheesh. You need to communicate, develop trust, and think about what's best for each other. But all of these areas take thought, discussion, and boundaries. Keep asking yourself…what's love got to do with it? What about me saying no to this says I don't love you? Don't confuse the two.

These of course are our tips. To ensure your financial planning decisions are on point, we always recommend seeing a Certified Financial Planner. Amy Bouchie of New Horizons Financial Consultants is our go to expert. She specializes in handling assets before, during, and after divorce. She has published her writings in our last issue and will be in our next as well.  

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Photo by Megan Vinson Photography